Perhaps I will not be able to fully mine the depths of this book. But the tidbits that I am able to apply to my parenting are SO helpful. (part one here)
I recently re-read that chapter called Connecting through filling the Love Cup. Pam Leo suggests the missing element in a child's life is Vitamin C- connection. She says that perhaps the missing link in the parent-child relationship is due to the business of our lifestyles. I'd like to think that the lifestyle I have chosen puts me at an advantage to be connected to my children. I stay at home. I have very few outside activities that they aren't also part of.
She suggested that children have an emotional fuel tank or love cup. They receive emotional fuel through connection with people they love. Meeting this need is as important as meeting their physical need for food! She suggests spending time filling this cup is PROACTIVE parenting. She felt children got cranky when they were low on emotional connection. I think I would agree with this.
Leo also suggests that you carve out 10-15 minutes per day per child for one-on-one time. WOW. That seems so little. She says that children will be more happy, healthy and cooperative when we give them that time proactively. If we don't give it to them, she says they will take it later from us when they are acting out. I very much agree with this! Children need time for us....they will take negative (punishing) attention from us if they can't get positive attention from us.
How are ways that I can connect more with my children? Stay home more to let random connecting happen. Get off the computer when they are awake so that I can respond quickly to a "mom come here I want to show you something!". Let them climb into bed with me. Read a book before I get dressed in the morning. Let a child stay up a little later then the rest to be with daddy and me. Include them in all household duties such as cleaning and cooking.
and a last quote from this chapter: We can't protect our children from the inevitable stresses and losses that are part of living, but we can help them build their boat strong enough to weather the storms of life.