This is a continuation of my opinion!
NO SCREEN TIME
The Academy of Pediatrics has been saying for years that no screen time before age 2 is the best policy. That means no games on the iPads, no movies in the car, no handing your phone over to keep them quiet, nothing. Sounds hard, right?
Those early years are for learning fine and gross motor development. These early years are the ones to learn language, to understand relationship with mom and dad. A simple educational show might be acceptable at some times, but it's not necessary to watch something everyday. Please don't use the tv as a babysitter. Even my oldest children who passed their young years before smart phones existed survived their toddlerhood without an video to keep them quiet.
I think as parents we also have to be watchful of our own screen time. When I say no to my kids in watching a little show or letting them check email, I have to check my own behavior. Am I on Facebook? How often am I checking email? Are my texts distracting me from my most important work as a mother? Don't let the screen come between you and the relationship you are building with your child. (or your husband!)
We took a hint from some friends and chose to go without a tv for the first year of our marriage. Back then (only 20 years ago) there were no videos or streaming on our computer. We didn't watch any shows at all. We only used the computer to email! We spent our first year talking and investing in time together.
CLEAR BOUNDARIES
If you tell your child no or tell them you will follow through with a consequence if they don't change their behavior, then do it! Don't use false promises. Have your YES be YES! and your NO be NO! Young children are so inquisitive and that's a wonderful thing if you are getting them in contact with a variety of idea building experiences. Let them have clear information about what you expect. But remember they are persons, so have realistic expectations for their developmental stage in life.
I give my littlest children chores to keep them living as a vital part of our family. A child of 2 can help unload the plastic and silverware from the dishwasher. They can peel carrots, fold washcloths and napkins, water flowers. Getting children using their energy in positive ways from an early age show them the boundaries of where they spend their time. When we begin to understand the freedom we have within limits, we can live more freely.
SLOW TO SPEAK means quick to hear.
It's good to read and speak to your children during the day. This helps them to develop their own language skills. If you are listening, you can hear a lot from your children. Don't miss what they are trying to tell you by filling up all the air space with your lectures or rants.
GIVE UP CONTROL of rigid schedules for the youngest
It's a real trend in many church circles to follow a schedule for a baby from the first minute they arrive home from the hospital. We schedule when the child should breastfeed, when they should nap, when they will be awake. If we considered this for ourselves we would squawk! Don't we eat when we are hungry (snacking inbetween meals sometimes!), sleep at unregular hours (when we can) and sometimes do things in the middle of the night for fun? What if instead of forcing a little child to revolve around a parents schedule if we instead allowed some normal flow of the day. When the child becomes hungry, we feed them a healthy snack or allow them to find where we have left a snack on a lower shelf for them. What if we allowed a breastfed baby to nurse on demand? When they needed a hug, we allowed a child to find comfort and put aside the books. Or what if we used a book to help resolve a sad moment in a child's day?
I'm not suggesting throwing out a schedule. I clearly create schedules for all my children and myself, but I allow the rhythm of life to flow in and around the things we need. I schedule us to be home and without outside distractions every morning. I do use an alarm clock to wake myself up and my children each morning. We begin at a standard time every morning, but we also allow those younger in our home to slowly begin their day. Or start super early. When our day is mainly a gentle routine, the youngest children begin to have their own gentle cycles to their day. They need plenty of time outdoors to play. They need snacks and drinks at similar times each day.
Do you know of other ways to nurture a young child in a home Charlotte Mason style? I'd love to hear them!