Be encouraged!

Recently I have been engaging with other moms about struggles in homeschooling.  Frustration with expectations happens after the Holiday Fever has subsided...and the Winter Doldrums begin.  (in this midwestern climate winter lasts a looooong time).
So here is what I have been sharing:


Dear A. Homeschooling Mom,

First of all I thank you for saying those things that we all often hear in our own heads.  "you are a failure".  But I want to reassure you that you are not failing your kids.  Christ doesn't call us to perfection but to excellence.  It's the process not the end result that we see on this side of eternity.  Let us keep running this race that He has called us to!  

When I am feeling less than productive in our homeschooling realm, I cling to a few things.  

These are things that have helped me. (maybe one of these would work for you?)

I have a bible verse hung up in large letters over our dining room table (this changes each school year). This year it is "Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God, my Savior and my hope is in you all day long.  Psalm 25:5" 

I pick a word to focus my year. For 2011 I have picked Idleness!  I have been mediating on the passage in the gospel where Jesus visits Mary and Martha and Lazarus.  I find that I am most like Martha-hurrying around with concern on my face that I haven't accomplished enough for the day.  I want to be more like Mary this year...sitting at the feet of Jesus listening to what He wants me to learn.   

I also have a rather extensive list of the  WHY we home school that I refer to in the heat of the moment!   

Another thing that I do once a month is have a little silence.  This takes some serious planning on my part and sometimes I wonder if it's worth it....but when I return a happier mother....I keep doing it.  I say that Jesus is my best friend, but my times to just sit and have coffee with Him are rather diminished with little children always underfoot.  I make time to go out with friends for coffee rather inconsistently...sometimes that effects my relationship with them.  This is true with my heavenly Father. (A quick quiet time in the morning isn't cutting it!)

 I have been taking one afternoon a month to just spend time with Jesus.  No shopping, no list making, just prayers and quiet.  I leave the house and return a little happier, a bit calmer.  I choose to visit a local Monastery.  There might be a quiet place you know of that would suit you.  

In your plea for help you said I have failed to teach my boys (*rd grade twins) to always obey me.  My vision of children is that they do want to please us.  They really do want to be "good".  But there are days where it seems if my children's goals and my goals are against each other!!  

So those days, I ask myself two things.  

Are my requests reasonable?  

Am I asking things of them that they can really do? 

 Can I readjust my expectations?  {My kids are more willing to complete their schooling in the AM}  

Secondly I ask myself if we have a strong bond?  

Have I pushed them away or been selfish with my time so that by them "not obeying" they are asking for my connection?  

I feel like every thing a person does is a way of sharing a met or unmet need.  A baby cries...we know they need milk, or held or their diaper changed.  A toddler screams...we learn they wanted to dress them selves! rather than be dressed.  And so on it goes.  

We would hope that a child could TELL us what they need, but they can't always verbalize it.  {for that matter sometimes I have trouble telling my husband when I feel lonely!}   If a child and I are disconnected it is highly unlikely they want to please me.

Some books that I have read in the past to help me are: Simplicity Parenting  and it's follow up post.

Random ramblings connecting all sorts of books that help me to parent better.

Connection Parenting and its second post.

Children who are not yet peaceful

In slowly raising boys, I have found Meg Meekers books to be enlightening.  (this will have to wait for another post!)  

this photo taken during my last birth by the birth photographer.

Also I am nearly finished with Spiritual Parenting by Michele Antony...so watch for future book review on this one!  

Some things that I have posted around my house to keep me from giving in to those negative tapes that play in my head are:

Education is more FORMATION than information.  Charlotte Mason

Do acts of mercy in silence.   With our children home all day with us, we can do so many more works of mercy than if they were gone!  I get to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, visit the sick, sometimes visit those in prison

time-in, get a drink for the child who needs it in the night....I can do all this in silence without complaining.

Boys are the kind of persons that need more movement.  I find that if my son is not allotted some serious outdoor or project time each day I have major disconnect between what I want him to do and what he wants to do.....When he is totally actuated on his production levels, then he wants to learn more from me.  My daughters have to create too, but they can do it with a lot less room!   

Lastly I'd like to tell you about some helps I have in place for myself:

I went to a "workbox" system for my son to complete when I can't be there every moment to motivate him.  He likes the surprise of opening a box full of newish things.  My oldest child who is more willing to follow a goal sheet doesn't appreciate boxes...so I try to find what works for each child's temperament and consider how much time I can spend in preparation for school each afternoon.

I do find that having systems in place for cleaning and home care makes my mind more ready to learn.  I am the kind of person that likes a tidy house and too much stuff cluttering our view makes for a clutter mind of this momma!  Routines can make things run a little more smoothly.  And as the kids grow we are adjusting our expectations and how the routines play out.  (that is at least every six months!)

So there's just a little! or a lot of ideas that rock around in this brain of mine!  May you be encouraged today!

Back to school

I'm spending some time getting things in order to start school up again in real force. (hopefully not forceful on my part!) We've re-arranged lots of things and I am putting the workboxes in order.

Daddy too has begun school again. He should be finished with his next Masters and be well into his Doctorate before our oldest finishes jr. high. Whew.

We will continue to work though STOW volume 1 (this is our second go around). We are planning to finish RightStart B and E. 100 Easy Lessons should be finished by one child.

This next week begins youth symphony again as well as some history and nature gatherings that happen once a month. I'd like to spend more time presenting sandpaper letters to the youngest as she's doing great with the ones I have given her so far. We could do more consistent presentations of the metal insets for the 5 year old as he's doing great with forming his letters...and wants to write so much! Today he was learning the 'ch' sound!

I'm working hard to simplify our day into reasonable chunks. Letting Montessori and CM seep into the rhythms of our day.

Cultivating virtues...

Daddy is our house expert on what the virtues ARE...but I think the kids are the experts on helping our family to GROW in the virtues. Since I spend a majority of time with the children, they've given me lots of chances to grow in the virtue of patience. I'd like to think I've taken my learning to heart.

Recently I saw benevolence in my children.

For the past six months we have been visiting a wheelchair bound (for 30+! years) woman once a month. We share things we've done and learn a little more about her. In years past we visited other older people, but this is so convenient for us as she lives within walking distance from us! It's been a work of mercy for the kids to see her and she looks so forward to our visits. This month I felt like it was time for us to have a photo to remember these precious visits.

I saw self-control.. A toddler was able to move beads from one place to another with a small spoon (and not scream when it wouldn't go where you want it to go).

Someone captured me working with Toddler girl. I know I work with her often, but it's good to have documentation!

I observed enthusiasm in a boy.

Three part cards are working well for Mr. 5-year-old. He's happy to do this on his own out of his workboxes and then I come to see when he asks for a "check back". Yes he was very proud of this BIG work.

And in it all I saw beauty.

Someone is practicing flower arranging with the last flowers in the yard. We've had a frost, but a few plants close to the house are continuing to hang on. It's cute to see how each of my children have over trimmed the stems in their first tries at flower arranging. We end up with lots of blooms floating in dishes of water. But they are equally as pretty.

Workboxes Part 2

Workboxes have been the latest craze in the homeschooling world. Last year I gave it a little try using only one box per child. They used it as a base to check out when they had "independent time". I had fair results.
This year I began the year slowly...and now have a nice system of workboxes going for the 10 year old, the 7 year old and the 5 year old. They are mostly extensions of the projects they do during the week. It allows them to choose what they want to do (which follows their Montessori years well). It also gives me a quick look at what they have finished. There are times during the day that I need to be able to have the three other busy while I work with one. These have been very helpful in that case.
Each child had five drawers in our plastic (!) system. I put a small piece of velcro on each drawer and attached a small art work (some homemade, some famous)

Inside each drawer I personalize their work. Here is the 10year olds review of a poem she memorized last week. It was a chance for me to check penmanship and spelling! Sticky notes tell the child what work they should complete. This one reads "write down the poem you memorized last week". After she finished this work, she left the work in the drawer and removed the art "I'm finished marker" from the front of the drawer.

Here is a glimpse of what I used for the 7 year old this past week. Her math lesson used a geo board for a warm-up. I put it in as a review the day after her lesson. This was the finished product waiting for me.

My rotation system includes:
Math game/activity/review every day
Copywork three days a week
Art activity one day a week
Science experiment one day a week
Silent reading and then narrate to me when finished
a game
recipe for making lunch (each child has a day they make lunch)



I keep a basket on the top of the cabinet to collect their art work "I'm finished markers" and also a timer. Sometimes I only want them to work for 15 minutes on a project. Using this system I have been able to finish school every day before lunch! This is so helpful for us to feel free to play out of doors and have activities outside the house.

Workboxes part 1

This week I put an experiment card set in a workbox for a 7 year old. I never heard anything about it, but noticed that she had pulled her "I'm finished" picture (more on this later).
Today when loading photos from the week I found this set. Now I know she got "static electricity" experiment.

The counter with her required materials.

the bowl with salt and pepper mixed together.

a spoon that she had been rubbing against the dish towel.

a close up of the pepper and salt sticking and being attracted to the spoon.
I am very impressed. What a great way to document finished work. I might just have to put the camera in workbox with the next experiment card set!